This post was inspired by a conversation between Kate Trgovac and my wife a few weeks back.
Social Media is killing us. I love Social Media but there are limits on time and attention. For those of us involved in online communities, channels and conversations, we must be mindful. Mindful of those who we tend to leave behind as our face-to-screen and face-to-face-time with other digerati and socirati (new word!) seems to be growing exponentially.
We all have loved ones, partners or friends who know of the countless hours we spend face-to-screen. Be it blogging, podcasting, commenting and calling in. Those who witness the time slip by as we contribute to a wiki here or there, play with a widget, extend our tour of duty in Second Life or twitter around on Twitter. Sometimes it’s the tagging in Technorati, diligent Digging or diving head first into Delicious. Or perhaps it is Skype or iTunes or just general ego surfing that captures our attention? Whatever floats your digital boat I guess.
To make matters worse, as if we were not being social enough online, we have become quite a social bunch outside the glow of our laptop screens in a face-to-face environment. Be it a CaseCamp, BarCamp, DemoCamp, PodCamp, Third Tuesday, Throng, Meetup, Geek Dinner, conference or other gathering and/or event, the weeknight and sometimes weekend activities can take a toll. It can have an impact on those who don’t see the fun and valuable friendship forged through the social media space.
Bottom line is that I am not the only person to come to the realization that the social media calendar is killing us all slowly! My question is “how social is social media when we are less social with the people we live with?!?!”
So it is time for recognition for those who are in the shadows. Let’s give a huge cheer and acknowledgement to those who are left to look over our shoulders or stay at home with the kids or the dog as we socialize through social media. They are a huge part of the equasion that cannot be overlooked. I know I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my wife who is always there to support the crazy calendar of events. So if I miss a few gatherings or seem off-line for a while here and there, it is because I am balancing that equasion out.
I love the scene, but I sometimes think we need a time-out. For the love of Pete, let’s have Moratorium March, ok?
Technorati Tags: CaseCamp BarCamp DemoCamp PodCamp Third Tuesday Throng Meetup Geek Dinner Social Media Digital and Social Media Syndrome DSMS Moratorium March Relationships
Great post, Michael! It is time for all of us to acknowledge those in our lives who might be victims of our social media fascination. Though I don't want to paint social media as the bad guy here. You can imagine that some of this might be occuring if we were all model railroad builders. Though social media enables access to a bigger (more time-consuming) community. I'm lucky because my partner blogs as well .. so she understands the fascination and the benefits. But she has 0 interest in Second Life. So I troop around there and she knits. But communication is esential.
Hmm .. so you've got me thinking .. I really do need to start my podcast "Podcast Widows" and interview people like your wife! But maybe I should call it Social Media Widows. :-) Just so we can start to hear the other side of it.
For sure Kate, Social Media is not the bad guy. If could be any hobby/passion or pursuit.
Can you imagine the chaos if our partners/spouses/friends got into Social Media with the verve that we have?!?! Yikes, nothing would ever get done!
I think we talked about the same thing the other day - it's like having a sip from a firehose - and it never stops. Today, here I sit, having passed on podcamp because of a nasty cold, wondering what information and connections I've missed. But you can't be everywhere at once! You can't know everything! We all know this, and yet we're still compelled to try. Maybe it's because the field is so new (social media, that is) that's it's still somewhat possible to keep abreast of it all on a personal level - and also, there's no "Great Aggregator" (i.e. MSM) to digest and interpret for us. Those of us who are interested must, for the most part, do it ourselves. Hmmm. I think there might be a post in there somewwhere.
Hope podcamp went well!
M
You nailed it. Those of us with demanding jobs, clients, families, friends, hockey games, tiddlywinks tournaments, or whatever tend to have a spottier attendance record at these things. Quite frankly, I do what I can, but I don't drop anything else in my life to commit more time to social media face-time.
Inside PR is recorded every Sunday night at around 11. Most of my fairly spotty blogging is late at night. I go to Third Tuesday as often as I can...show up at Geek Dinners once in a while...I've never made a Throng...I go to some events during the day, but not all...I speak when asked.
Personally, I don't feel bad about missing any of the things that happen. There are guys like Mitch, Bryper and others who are gung-ho and either have or make the time to push this stuff to the front of the line. Most of us can't or won't or shouldn't. You won't catch me traveling on my own dime/time to attend a social media thing anywhere with the schedule I already have.
Weekends are for me and my family. When my kids go to bed at 7:30, there's not a lot of time in the week where everyone's together, awake and not distracted with other things.
If I can paraphrase the old saying: "Nobody ever says on their deathbed that they should have spent more time blogging, podcasting or attending social media events."
Thanks David. I am increasingly selective - have to be. I never want to hear myself say "I missed my kid's "whatever". Wiithout family obligations it must be easier to be spread so thin. Funny how no one ever talks about the real time commitment - likely b/c it is a passion and we don't see it that way. It is amazing that I have never heard what people are now sacrificing or "not doing" to be doing all the rounds in social media scene.
I can't discount the great friendships that have formed in this space, but I think I needed to address the balance factor for all of us.
I think this is a very timely post, as I too did not make PodCamp and really wanted to.
I made a conscious decision quite a while ago and thus never got into online gaming like (Everquest, WoW, etc.), since the last thing that I need is other people encouraging me to play video games (I have enough trouble resisting playing along at home when everyone else is in bed).
Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, my wife (Lisa Walker) is actually interested in social media and a blogger herself, which means that Throng and Third Tuesday serve as a sort of geeky "date night".
Great post, lots to think about. I suppose Social Media is a younger person's game (or at least those without kids, etc.)
I think Douglas nails it in his final observation. Look who's commenting here. For the most part we appear to be social media afficianados who, long of tooth and bonded by family, just happen to have a First Life. Perhaps that's what helps prevent our hearts from constantly going twitter at the thought of digging the delicious vortex of being linked in. Thanks, Michael for putting it in perspective.
But, hey, what am I doing in here! I'm supposed to be marking student papers ....
I think that there's a difficulty here with feeling it's "all or nothing". And this is a feeling that I have experienced myself. I think we need to (good lord, I'm gonna sound like Oprah or Dr. Phil here)give ourselves permission to participate to the extent comfortable for each of us. No time for second life? Then skip it. Don't get digg? Don't digg. Like delicious? Then jump right in. Stop beating OURSELVES up for our perceived failings and focus on our successes.
On the plus side though, events used to be hit and miss for me, and now they're all hits. Being somewhat anti-social and pretty shy, I used to dread industry events and now I genuinely enjoy them because I hang out with people I like. I don't mind missing a few because I'll hear about it online anyway.
I need to show my wife this post and comment thread. Thanks for bringing it up, Michael.
I am, indeed, one of the social media gung-ho types as David Jones suggests, but I, too, struggle with balancing my commitments in that space with the time I need to be spending with my family (I have two children, including an infant) and BSM (Before Social Media) friends.
I think what we really have to do is set some hard limits about how much time we're willing to commit to our social media work and extracurricular activities, and I'm certainly working on that -- though not always very successfully.
i hit few of the items u raised, well i've yet to attend a geek dinner but if it's available locally, i might dive into it.
i'm in pr and part of my daily routine is to check my alerts and my feeds - i feel uneasy servicing my clients if i am not alerted on my competitors' activities.
it has become a do or die situation - social media - can't live with it, can't live without it. thankfully i still allocate some time to search for my future life partner. or else it will be somewhat tragic to spend all my time twiddling my fingers waiting for a new video to be uploaded on youtube.
like gary schlee said above... what am i doing here... i'm supposed to be working... but how did i find my way here? throught my alerts on social media... gasp...
Michael,
You raise some very interest some very interesting questions.
I have found social media to be invaluable in making new connections and keeping in touch with others over large distances. Some of the research indicates that the Internet can encourage new social interactions (http://www.news.utoronto.ca/bin/19980323e.asp). In fact, I was directed to your blog through commentary by David Jones, who I initially familiarized myself through social media.
But your post also accurately expresses the concerns related to social media. Communicators have indicated that asynchronous communications through keyboard interfaces can never replace the media richness of face-to-face, and that not only are we losing part of the message, but also losing the skills in conveying messages through non-visual (typing) cues. Social isolation is definitely something that anyone in social media should be aware of (http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/february23/internet-022305.html). A balance is obviously required, perhaps in using social media to initiate contact, but direct communication to further build on these relationships.
You raise some very interest some very interesting questions.
I have found social media to be invaluable in making new connections and keeping in touch with others over large distances. Some of the research indicates that the Internet can encourage new social interactions (http://www.news.utoronto.ca/bin/19980323e.asp). In fact, I was directed to your blog through commentary by David Jones, who I initially familiarized myself through social media.
But your post also accurately expresses the concerns related to social media. Communicators have indicated that asynchronous communications through keyboard interfaces can never replace the media richness of face-to-face, and that not only are we losing part of the message, but also losing the skills in conveying messages through non-visual (typing) cues. Social isolation is definitely something that anyone in social media should be aware of (http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/february23/internet-022305.html). A balance is obviously required, perhaps in using social media to initiate contact, but direct communication to further build on these relationships.
Thank you for acknowledging this. I was beginning to think that everyone else in the blogosphere had mastered some supernatural web time management skill and I was the only one who hadn't caught on.